Interview by Katelyn Beaty and Marlena Graves/ January 5, 2012
M[ark Driscoll]: No, and for us, we sinned, quite frankly. We were virgins when we met and were sleeping together as high-school boyfriend and girlfriend. [emphasis added] Then Grace came back to Christ, and I came to Christ in college, so we had to stop sinning sexually. I'd say if we both could go back and rewrite history and change one thing, that would probably be the thing we would change. But we did repent and met with our pastor. And then we did get married, between our junior and senior years of college.
Part of the issue today is extended male adolescence: guys are just not growing up, they're not taking responsibility and not acting maturely. These are guys who are post-college, making money for years with no wife, and then all of a sudden they are sexually active but not really thinking about marriage. I call them boys who can shave. They're highly irresponsible, and it leads to a culture in which there is a proclivity toward sex outside of marriage.
So you can't just say, "Hey, no sex outside of marriage." You have to go to the underlying issue, asking: Why aren't you growing up? Why are you not taking responsibility? Why are you not pursuing marriage? Why do you think Zach Galifianakis and Adam Sandler are funny? Why do you think that the whole bromance comedy thing is not just offensive? Why are you trying to live out that lifestyle when it's antithetical to being a real responsible man who loves Jesus and wants to get married and be faithful to his wife?
You didn't misread that. Mark Driscoll told Katelyn Beaty and Marlena Graves that he and Grace were virgins when they met. Okay so let's go read from the book which was being promoted by the Driscolls that year and what did the Driscolls have to say about themselves?
Real Marriage: the truth about sex, friendship and life together
Mark and Grace Driscoll
copyright (c) 2012 by On Mission, LLC
ISBN 978-1-4041-8352-0PAGE 9-10
Before long I was bitter against God and Grace. It seemed to me as if they had conspired to trap me. I had always been the "good guy" who turned down women for sex. In my twisted logic, since I had only slept with a couple of women I was in relationships with, I had been holy enough, and God owed me. [emphasis added] I felt God had conned me by telling me to marry Grace, and allowed Grace to rule over me since she was controlling our sex life.
Although I loved our people and my wife, this only added to my bitterness. I had a church filled with single women who were asking me how they could stop being sexually ravenous and wait for a Christian husband; then I'd go home to a wife whom I was not sexually enjoying.
... We still disagree on how often we had sex (I [Mark Driscoll] was bitter, and she [Grace Driscoll] was in denial, which skews the perspective), but we both agree it wasn't a healthy amount to support a loving marriage.
Unless "slept with" merely meant in the same bed ... Driscoll's own book disproved the claim made to Christianity Today.