Wednesday, April 18, 2012

a former pastor's regret

http://mattbredmond.blogspot.com/2012/04/former-pastors-regret.html

There's nothing to applaud here. Applause should be reserved for the pastors who have seen this and pastored accordingly. I'm sure some do it by instinct. I was not among them and that's why there's regret.

I never really understood the difficulty of living the Christian life in the real world, outside of vocational ministry. My experience of working outside vocational ministry was in part time jobs and one full-time on the way to Seminary. So that may be part of it. But I'm not sure I can lay the cause at the feet of ignorance alone.


Loving the people I ministered to seemed secondary. I would have never admitted it but that's most likely part of what was the problem. I wanted to see them do things that justified my ministry more than I wanted to love them.
...
Now that I'm working in a bank, these regrets are easy. It's easy for me see the struggle because I'm in the middle of it. I can understand wanting to stay home on a weeknight with my family. I can understand the need for a word of peace instead of having my toes stood upon. I loved stepping on toes more than comforting the heart. I should have been more patient with the bruised reeds. ...

I could write something about this but it so chiefly speaks for itself I'm not sure I have much to add.